Taco Bell and Basic Arithmetic

I get a text at work that my daughter is pulling at her ears and running a fever. Well, crap. I cancelled the much needed hair appointment and resigned myself to a few more days with my gray hairs waving hello in the wind. As I leave work, I figure I have time to run through Taco Bell before grabbing Leah from the sitters and going back to town for the Dr's visit. I pull up, place my order, nonchalantly roll through to the first window and hand my money to the employee (hereafter referred to as Taco Bell Drive Through Man, or TBDTM, for short). He grabs my hard earned cash with his grubby hand and the window closes behind him. I rest my arm on my van's window ledge, in anticipation of my change.

All I wanted was my change.

$5.25 to be exact.

But obviously I had broken rule #1 of fast food drive through transactions. I had not given him a whole dollar amount. I know, I know, you're shaking your head. I should have known better!! My total was $4.84. And I.......well....I gave him $10.09. I was only trying to avoid the utter inconvenience of a plethora of loose change! I swear! I did not want to confuse TBDTM. I was not trying to trick him. It was not a test.

The window opens back up.

"Uhhh....were you wanting a quarter?", he says.

"I'm sorry?", I query. My brows raise in confusion.

"Your change is $5.24. Were you trying to get a quarter back?".

I pause. I recalculate in my head. Yes.......yes, I'm sure I'm right. I take the fools road and instead of just giving him a penny and being done with it, I try to lead him to the correct answer.

"I gave you $10.09......", I lead and he nods in agreement. "The total was $4.84.....". Again, another agreeable nod. "That makes my change $5.25". I smile in triumph and think how lucky he is that someone like me, someone who yearns to teach the ignorant, has become enmeshed in his mathematical quest.

"Uhhh....it says here that you only get $5.24 back".

**crickets chirping**

I've already explained the mathematical formula. I've led him to the correct answer. And yet, somehow, he has lost his way.

"That's not right", I proclaim. I've lost my soothing teachers voice.

We lock eyes.

Me, refusing to give the extra penny and end this madness.

Him, obviously confused by numbers. And hairstyling products. But that's a story for another day.

I take a deep breath. 'We can go through this again', I think to myself, 'I can't lose him now!'.

"84 minus 75 is 9, correct?". He's gonna get it, I just know it, we're almost there!

"Yeah".

"So when I gave you the 9 extra cents, it's like it took my total down to $4.75. You see how that works?". See how patient I was being? I truly amazed myself.

"But it says your change is $5.24".

Aaaaaaaaaaand we've swung right back around to where we started.

I kept silent. I stared. He stared back. Then he looked at his cash register.

"Ohhhh, I typed in the amount wrong. Heh heh heh. My fault." He continues to chortle.

I cannot even bring myself to smile.

It's really probably a good thing I had my sunglasses on.

Not only were basic mathematical skills beyond him, but so was typing in a correct dollar amount. But you know what? Jesus loves him. And in respect for that, I am not going to tell you his name.

He probably had on the wrong name tag anyways.