Dieting and Technology

I am a master of dieting. Not successfully, mind you, but I can tell you the calories of any given food at any given time. It's a great party trick.

I've been looking for someone to blame for my weight struggles for a long time. Initially, it was my mother. Everything that lived in her house was overweight, except for her. Cats, dogs, children,....there was no prejudice.  Even the plants got huge.  "You need to eat healthier!", I would hear, followed by "You want a cookie?".

You know what? I still blame her. Let's move on.

It took me a few years, but next I found Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or PCOS. The medication for this was going to change my life!!!

Well, I'm still fat. Now I just have cysts as well.

Next.

For awhile my husband took the blame. And when I say "for awhile", I mean currently. And until the day one of us dies. I eat because I'm stressed. He is the biggest stress producer I have ever encountered.  And he buys me candy. Like the lonely kid on the playground looking for a friend. Or the creepy guy in the van. Both analogies apply to him at different times.

But I've found a new target - technology. Specifically, the Internet.

Let me elaborate.

http://www.joyofbaking.com/ChocolateMousse.html

and

http://www.mybakingaddiction.com/amazing-brownies-a-giveaway/

I mean, come on.

The modern miracle we call the car enables me to drive to the store to spend my hard-earned cash on the ingredients. Or, if I'm feeling exceptionally lazy, I may purchase them premade. You know how many calories I burn making these little bites of heaven? About 45. I like to pretend that I will make them and then put them in the freezer, responsibly grabbing one when an irresistible craving hits.

My friends, they don't even make it to a freezer bag.

I'm all for personal accountability. Just not when it comes to these tasty, tasty morsels.

That's all for tonight. I'm starting a diet tomorrow and there is lettuce to be chopped.  Just as soon as the cookies get out of the oven. I'm going to freeze them, you know.