Stuffed Sausage in a Sweater

I enjoyed a wonderful, inspiring church service this morning. The hands raised, voices lifted, awe-inspiring kind. An hour and a half later I was traveling down Broadway, with my voice and hands lifted again. Only my voice was saying "See that light? It's green. Green means go!" and my hands were certainly not lifted in praise. More like exasperation.

You see, I had to shop for a pair of pants this afternoon.

What a hideous ordeal! I remember it being a lot more fun about 6 sizes ago. Now all my clothes have a W after the number. I don't think that stands for "Women's". Personally, I think of it as Wide. What size do I wear, you ask? Well, that's none of your business. Stop being nosy.

I walked into Bergners for the first time in years and immediately a sassy sweater caught my eyes. I lifted the price tag. $78?? If I'm going to pay $78 for a sweater, it had better wash, dry, and fold itself. I quickly moved on, looking for the Big Girls Section. Now, it's not like I'm expecting a big flashing sign saying "Fatties Over Here" or anything, but maybe something a little more obvious than the sign with a size 8 font stating "Women's" would have been helpful. Finally, I just started shadowing another BBW and found my way there quickly enough.

I browsed. I picked up. I put back down. I walked in circles. I went back and picked back up. Lord, I hate shopping. Then the confidence inspiring try-on session began. The trendy layering tee with the long cardigan? I now call that look Stuffed Sausage with a Sweater. **shudder**

I got my pants and I got out of there. Then hit Taco Bell. And I don't care who knows it.